my finace wants his dad to check me
My Fiancé Wants Me To Open My Legs So His Dad Can 'Check Me' While He Watches With His Uncle

A troubled bride-to-be has explained on a Reddit relationship advice forum a sticky situation she found herself in two days before her big day, sighted by

The Reddit user, @FarReference3 shared that her fiancé’s family had a weird tradition – his father would essentially have to “inspect” her ‘punani’ before their wedding day to guarantee her hymen was intact, hence signifying her purity.

@FarReference3 wrote on Reddit:

my finace wants his dad to check me
My Fiancé Wants Me To Open My Legs So His Dad Can ‘Check Me’ While He Watches With His Uncle

“My fiancé proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love. I am a virgin and so is he, he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn’t fussed so I agreed to saving it. He has told me earlier that in his family the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. No, turns out, he was dead serious. He wants me, the night before, to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers, and uncle can watch so that they know I am still ‘pure’. I told him, fat chance I am going to do that and he was begging to me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did [it] and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic.” has gathered that a hymen of any lady can wear, tear, break, pop, and simply not exist for a multitude of reasons, including participation in sports, accidents, and genetics.

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Simply checking someone’s hymen to ensure they’re still a virgin is biologically wrong.

Other Reddit users were quick to point out to @FarReference3 these red flags.

One of the Reddit users, Milesmx responded:

“In all honesty, this sounds borderline cultish. If you really wanna marry this man, you should not allow him to push you into something you are uncomfortable with, it would be a very bad start to the marriage. You’re… Inexperienced sexually so from that information there’s a chance this will be your first experience showing your genitals to someone who is not a medical professional. Do you really want those people to be all your fiancé’s immediate male family members? Mayday_dnaenae added: Any time a person tells you “__ will prove how much you love me,” they are manipulating you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you love someone if you’re planning to marry them. Don’t let him play mind games like that. Bbeneke pointed out: You may not have an intact hymen. Most females don’t. This proves NOTHING! Plus it’s disgusting to even think about your soon to be in-laws looking at your tw*t.”

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@FarReference3 after seeing the light replied on the forum. She wrote:

“I went and talked to him this morning. I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me about lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational but he was not having it and just became [angrier]. I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no, to which he slapped me and said he didn’t need to prove anything. So I ended it and left him.”

Good work @FarReference3. Visit for more stories.