A young father has shared on social media a private situation he chanced on while spying on his wife with the nanny cam.
The unnamed father of twin boys took to the social media site to get some perspective on a difficult situation he’s found himself in at home.
In a post on the Am I The A**hole forum, he claimed to have “accidentally” watched his family on his nanny cam’s app while at work and said he was left “concerned” by what he saw.
After getting a notification from the app, he says he opened it on his phone and was taken to a livestream of his living room, where he saw his wife sitting on her tablet, while their sons play fought with one another – something they’re not allowed to do.
But it was what his wife was wearing that really worried him.
In the clip he recalls his wife wearing noise cancelling headphones and completely ignoring what their three-year-old boys were doing.
“I was concerned and decided to talk to her that night, but that afternoon I had the urge to check the app again,” he wrote.
And after taking a look, he became even more concerned about his wife’s behaviour.
He continued: “The [boys] were eating unthawed breaded mozzarella sticks from the freezer box while my wife was FaceTiming someone and still wearing her noise cancelling headphones.
“It was so bizarre and unexpected, I took a look at older videos throughout the week and every time, she had her headphones on and was practically ignoring the kids.“
The dad confronted his wife about it when he got home and she was furious he’d been spying on her.
“I went home and told her I wanted to talk, and said that I’d noticed somehow the cameras were left on and I was worried about her. She’d looked really checked-out and that was absolutely unlike her, was something the matter?
“She got upset with me for looking through a week of videos instead of coming to her right away when I’d noticed the camera was recording when it shouldn’t be. She said I should have told her and not watched.
“I told her I wanted to talk about how she was doing, what was up, and she just shut down. Saying she was fine, and that she wasn’t talking about s**t that I had no right to be looking through.”
He added: “I feel worried; it’s like a switch seems to flip when she’s alone with the kids versus when she knows someone is watching. She’s so attentive and present when we’re doing stuff as a family, or with family friends around. But it looked like she was 100 percent checked out when she thought nobody would see.”
Some people thought the husband was in the right for being worried.
“They’re your children and you have the right to worry about them,” commented one user. “Likewise, she’s your wife and you should have a mature conversation about this like mature adults. The fact that the kiddos aren’t supervised enough to the point of eating unthawed food is horrible! You are NOT in the wrong for worrying about her or her actions.”
Someone else replied: “I’m a childcare provider and have worked as a nanny. It can be exhausting and boring spending ten to twelve hours with three year olds— I’m sympathetic to someone who wants to check their phone real quick or keep a podcast on in the background to hear an adult voice. What you’re describing is not that and I find the noise cancelling headphone particularly disturbing.”
A different user wrote: “Parenting isn’t about interacting 24/7. Kids need independent play too and to learn to play with each other without a parent always being involved.
“She was probably aware of what they were doing the entire time and is annoyed because it doesn’t sound like you do a lot of the parenting and yet are coming in like an expert on how she should be doing it. Stop spying on your wife. You’re not her boss.”
Another added: “Uhm, dude? Taking care of kids is actually exhausting like you wouldn’t believe. She kind of needs those breaks.”
“He is actively spying on her in her own home. Horrifying,” commented a third. “If she were actually gone, or the kids were doing anything at all dangerous I would feel differently. But eating cold cheese and wrestling? Kids being kids. Has anything bad ever happened to the kids while she was watching? Stop being creepy OP.”